I’ve taught meditation to many hundreds of people over 35 years, so why do I hate it?

In this blog, I’ll explore this question, but first I want to clarify a few things:

1. I believe in the value of teaching meditation. I’ve seen the incredible results, firsthand, with many, many leaders and entrepreneurs.
2. I love teaching and coaching people, introducing them to new practices and new ways of looking at things. It’s what I do best.
3. I love my own meditation practice, even after nearly 50 years. The difference it’s made in my life is hard to over-state.

Given these 3 points, you would think that I would love teaching meditation, right? Not necessarily. Each of those points is true in isolation, but the actual teaching of meditation brings its own special difficulties. I’ll explain three of difficulties here.

The first difficulty with teaching meditation is that the practices are deceptively simple yet extremely frustrating to do. That is to say that when I present the instructions, they sound really easy, like “really listen to all the sounds arising around you”. People tend to assume that because the instructions are so simple and straightforward, the actual doing of the practice must also be simple. But when they sit down to actually do the practice, they discover that their minds are totally out of control. A common response to this is “well, I guess this practice isn’t for me”,

As a teacher and coach, I have to really prepare them for this moment by giving lots of caveats, like “don’t be fooled by the simple instructions! Start small! Even following five or ten breaths is amazing at the start!”

Often, even these caveats don’t help. The drop-out rate is ridiculously high. In my experience, maybe one out of five students and coachees stick with the practice and make it part of their daily routine. And those who need it the most, namely super-busy leaders and entrepreneurs, are usually the first to give up.

A second difficulty is that despite the promises of many different schools, apps and books, the truth is that the results that people are seeking don’t show up for quite a while – usually a few months. In a culture obsessed with speed, it’s not uncommon for folks to expect a “quick turnaround”. Meditation muscles take time to build up. Mastery over one’s attention is not achieved quickly. It takes patience and consistency and persistence. The rewards are amazing, if (and this is the big if!) you can stick to it long enough.

A third difficulty is simply the competition with other forms of stimulation. We are pleasure-seeking, pain-avoiding organisms, and the actual practice of meditation offers up a fair bit of pain (in the joints and neck, in the form of unwanted thoughts, and occasionally coming face-to-face with unpleasant aspects of ourselves) and precious little pleasure.

The seeking of pleasurable experiences and the practice of meditation are almost completely incompatible. There are so many other activities that are a lot more fun than meditation! If it’s fun you want, meditation is not the place to go looking for it! Meditation practice is more like good hygiene: you do it because it’s just really good for you, like sleeping, showering or brushing your teeth. In time, if you are diligent, you will vastly increase your mastery over your attention. And yes, the results will be life-changing. But I don’t think it would be honest of me to promise that it will ever be fun.

So there you have it: three reasons why teaching meditation can be really frustrating at times. My recommendation? Lower your expectations. Celebrate small, baby-step progress. Don’t expect it to be pleasurable but do it as a practice for your well-being. And lastly, be patient. It absolutely is possible to gain mastery over over one’s attention, and the benefits of doing that are truly amazing.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to meditate!